Confidence is one of those things. Most riders feel that if they DO something great, or if a goal has been achieved that they will automatically feel confident.
But unfortunately, this is not true.
Confidence comes from your mind not from your actions.
Your outcomes will often change your mind, like if you had a great ride your thoughts change and that changes your energy and makes you FEEL confident.
But you can also have a good ride, beat yourself up and still FEEL like you are not good enough, or that you got it all wrong.
So, if our DOING is not creating confidence what exactly does?
Come on a little journey with me…..
Remember a time when you felt great. This might have been because you met someone who made you happy, or you got a promotion at work. When you are happy your thoughts change. Instead of focusing on doom and gloom and putting the magnifying glass on everything that didn’t work out quite the way you wanted just to provide further truth to yourself that everything is doom and gloom, you walk around smiling.
You wake up in the morning and the world feels great. You get in your car to drive to work, you smile and sing to the radio, without noticing the built up traffic around you and the driver who just flicked you the bird.
You notice only the good things and when you look ahead you only expect the positive outcomes.
When it’s time to ride your horse and your horse is being a dill you laugh it off, “Oh he is so funny…”
When you have a lesson and things didn’t go perfect, you come out saying “yeah…it wasn’t too bad, he was just a bit stiff. We’ll make it better next time.” And you walk away smiling.
On the other hand when you are in the doom and gloom faze the world looks and feels different.
You wake up in the morning and you feel down and flat. You get in your car to drive to work and you can already imagine what is waiting for you when you get there. The traffic is building up and you are going to be late then there is this stupid driver who sings and bobs around in her car not realising that she cut you off and you flick her the bird. “Stupid happy people!!”
When it’s time to ride your horse, your horse is being a dill and you mumble under your breath “this is going to be a great ride, why the f#*& do I even bother". Sure enough after the ride you worst expectation has been proven right and while you put your horse away you decide “right that’s it, I am going to give up once and for all!”
Your focus creates your thoughts, and your thoughts change your reality.
It is not what happens around you that counts, it is not even important what happens to you the only thing that counts is how you feel inside.
Your internal reality shapes your external experience.
Confidence is a state of mind and to be confident in achieving certain outcomes you must have a ‘can do’ attitude.
It is easier to have a ‘can do’ attitude when you are on a roll, and everything seems to happen for you. But the world constantly moves, things happen and there is a balance to it. The balance is ‘up and down’, movement to keep things alive. Everything changes, constantly.
You need to learn to carry your ‘can do’ attitude with you, through the ups and the downs. How do you do it? By deciding what day/ride you are going to have before you get up/get on.
Notice where you focus is and where it wants to go. Your focus is your thoughts, your expectations and your predictions. If they create a story of doom and gloom you have the choice if you want to follow or if you want to re-direct, change course.
Following is easy, re-directing is harder because it requires effort.
Not just effort but also a readjusting of beliefs and fears. But that is for another time.
So, thinking confidently starts before the action begins. Next time you get to your horse, direct your thoughts to the outcomes you want to achieve and keep them anchored there no matter what.
If you have a bad ride don’t rip out the anchor of confident thoughts otherwise your thoughts drift out to sea and that is never a good thing.
That’s why you need to stay anchored in your thoughts of positivity and ‘can do’, the tide will turn, you’ll see, it always does.
So, sit back and close your eyes, create the outcomes you want and start seeing yourself already doing it. Decide on the action steps you must take to get you there and then get going.
Happy riding everyone!